20 November 2005

Clean! It Is Clean! Clean Like It Was Before Time Began!

I have cleaned and organized the garage!

Cleaning the garage and relinquishing the junk. Stage one, preparation. For this you will need one garage which you will not leave. Loud music. Good beer, ten bottles of. American beer, eight bottles of, for consumption cold. Ice cream, vanilla, one large tub of. Magnesia, milk of, one bottle. Gatorade, mouthwash, vitamins. Bottled water, pornography. One mattress. One garbage bag for shit that you know is junk, one for shit that might be junk and one for shit that might be junk but you plan on keeping. One television and one bottle of Vicoden. Which I've already procured from my wife. Who is, in her own domestic and socially acceptable way also a drug addict. And now I'm ready. All I need is one final hit to soothe the pain while the Vicoden takes effect.

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