They say, decide what you are going to do NOW rather than wait for the decision point, because at that moment there isn't time to make up your mind.
I am not going to drop my weapon even if the bad guy has a knife to my loved one's throat. "Drop it or I'll kill (loved one)!" doesn't shift the responsibility for their death at the hands of a scumbag.
What a scumbag needs to consider is that it is only my concern about accidentally shooting my loved one that's keeping them alive. Dead or severely injured loved one and there's no barrier at all to me opening fire.
And in the case of injured, the fastest way to safely help my loved one is to utterly eliminate the demonstrably dangerous scumbag.
Philosophically and morally (if not strictly legally) creating the situation where a loved one's life is threatened so eminently means the scumbag's life is now forfeit. Strangely in a "less civilized" time such could be slain by any who found them, and any who granted them succor likewise.
Sometimes barbarity is better.
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The Abode of McThag joins many others in its support of Erin Palette's "coming out".