Turns out I do have a friend who works at the VA.
At the C.W. Bill Young Hospital (formerly Bay Pines Medical Center).
She got me straightened out and it turns out I was in the system already.
Got examined, x-rayed, bled and pissed.
Still need to get a bone scan and get a primary assigned.
The sad part is I'd done this all before. And the progress got erased.