As part of suicide prevention, people are often asked to consider how their death will affect others.
I had a depressing thought along those lines.
I've walked away from a few relationships without a further word.
And nobody cared.
In effect, I committed suicide to these people and my name doesn't even come up with them any more.
Makes one feel pretty bad until you remember that you said, "fuck them!"
In most cases I'm happy to be gone from their minds because that means they will leave my ass alone.
A couple, though, puzzle me.
I walked away to calm down and they just let me go. Well, if they're reading this, I've calmed down if you wanna talk. It should never have been entirely on me to keep the lines of communication open.
other then a few good friends, no one cared when i left the military...then having spent several years at a job i noticed no one seemed to care when people retired and left...maybe for a week or 2 their name might be mentioned but then nothing...the only time after that was when his/her name came up in a story...when i retired from the job i would stop by every couple weeks after getting my hair cut and realized about a month in that no one seemed to give 2 shits that i came by to say hi so stopped going...moral of the story...only your friends give a shit, everyone else is just living their life...with blinders on...panzer guy...
ReplyDeleteSo true.... this, ummm... last couple years, dunno how to paraphrase it, has shaken a few 'friends' off my tree. As you said, if its only up to me to pickup the phone and dial out, I guess I don't need you either. One instance is a little unsettled with me, but that was their choice. I honestly think that was about something else, and with whats coming, it will be irrelevant. I told you to move out of Chicago a decade ago, I can't help that you're trapped now.
ReplyDeleteI've never been under any illusions that no more than a few people would notice if I just suddenly wasn't there anymore. Most of the time I'm aware that I'm there but invisible to most people. Just part of the scenery, and not a part they care to look at. That's not necessarily always the way I want it, but it is what it is. In a way, I think that may be what motivates a lot of people who seek infamy. Doing something terrible is their only way to be noticed and leave a "legacy". I guess I don't want that bad enough, I'm OK with not having a purpose or being remembered.
ReplyDeleteWe are just so much dust in the wind, Angus. We come together and drift apart on the tides of life. Some of us get dashed upon the rocks and shoals. Friendship - real friendship - takes two people.
ReplyDelete