More Yrth

"You have GOT to see this!" I exclaimed to my friend.
"What now?" He replied irritatedly, it being the hundredth time I had bothered him in the last hour with my project.
"They work now."
"Really?"

"They" being what I taken to calling a gun golem. A four legged self deploying maxim machinegun. Our round might even be interchangable with .308 Winchester, but I don't have any to compare it with. Heck, calling the gun a Maxim is stretching the truth, but it's water-cooled and long recoil actioned with a toggle style lock. I never could figure out Browning's bolt accelerator.

"Shoot the target with a two second burst!"

The animated steel creature pivoted slightly and twitched it's "finger" on the trigger. A short burst emanated from the gun and a promising number of the rounds hit the wood.

"Not exactly a sniper, is it?" Geff asked.
"Nope, but it doesn't have to be. But it's not afraid of taking fire and a reverse missle or two doesn't really phase it." I rapped the hard metal of its leg, "Isn't having tons of steel fun?"

"Yes, if you say. Want to see what I have been doing?"
"Sure"
"We now have an answer about using illusions to make a computer. It works and they are FAST. I think that I can even get them talking to each other in a network. And magic communication seems to be instantaneous too, there is no lag sending a message to the moon and back."
"Cool!"


Meanwhile, on the moon...


The outworlders could not escape this time!

The ministry had finally located their gate in Tredroy.

"Odd," the ministry mage thought as he stepped through, "I feel very light, as if I was in water." But he was clearly in a small room with two heavy steel doors, one to each side, and with a small sign hanging on the wall in front of him. The door to the left had a small green light coming from a glass sphere above it, the right side door had a red light. Both doors had a small round window in it, the green lighted door had a warm light shining through it and the red lit door was black.

"Please listen to the message and finish the sentence. WARNING! Do not speak until you are ready to finish the sentence. WARNING! Spell use is forbidden in the entrance, use of lethal force has been authorized by the base commander." the sign said in red letters on a white background in the outsider's "English". "They don't expect me to be able to read their sign! Fools!"

A voice began to speak, coming from all around him, "My baloney has a first name, it's..." in English.
"What in the name of the Emperor is 'bah loan ee'," he thought. Turning to his left, the mage noticed that neither door had any form of knob or handle.

"My baloney has a first name, it's..."

Touching the doors and walls revealed that the door with the green light was far warmer than the walls or door with the red light.

"My baloney has a first name, it's..."

What could the trick be? It would have to be simple, something trivial to them. What had the contents of that house had in it?

"My baloney has a first name, it's..."

The meat! That was it! 'Bah loan ee' must be how they pronounced 'bologna'! This must refer to the name on the package!

"My baloney has a first name, it's..."
"Oscar!" the mage shouted triumphantly.

"Now opening outer door." The door with the red light opened with almost a snap, all of the air in the small chamber going with it. The wind was furious, pulling at the mage's robes, but only for a moment, then nothing. No sound and a terrible pain in his eyes, ears and chest. Desperately attempting to cast a spell to transport him home as...blackness.

"HA! I really love this thing!" Geff was nearly choking on his laughter as I entered the entrance room. He was looking out the port hole in the outer door that led to the surface of the moon, "We got another one in the trap!"

"My baloney has a first name, it's..."
"Oh Es See Ay Arr," I say.