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What Guys Know About Women

"A man needs a woman, but a man does not need a woman who needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. Also, women aren't as crazy about this Earth stuff. The facts are plain at any big newsstand rack - countless titles, increasingly narrowcast to the pursuits and passions of men - these in turn augmented by thousands of newsletters, events, and clubs. In contrast stands the inch-thick woman's magazine, filled with fashion, perfume and makeup ads. These are interests completely alien to the men of the Earth. The covers of these magazines invariably feature some incredible model with her breasts falling out. If these are woman's magazines, then who are these breasts for? We can't figure it, but it seems pretty clear that this whole beauty business is geared toward impressing other women, not attracting men. Whatever it is, it doesn't seem to have much to do with Earth. It is illustrative of one of the principle communication problems between the sexes. Earth men feel that they are pursuing the natural course for living on Earth and have trouble holding in equal regard those who do not. The wife, therefore, who begrudges the Earth man his occasional fishing trip is not only being an unnecessarily selfish nuisance, but is also interfering with the natural order. In contrast, the wife who understands and encourages the Earth man's necessary forays is a gal and a goddess - highly wondrous but increasingly rare, thanks to the meddling of today's PC liberal clueless killjoys and other wayward muck-ups."