Michele Evermore is having a rough time.
She's found a web page that expresses the situation she's just left. That's good!
Unfortunately for me I expressed an opinion in the comments on her blog that such pages are ALWAYS about the man being the abuser.
This led to a mini-debate with another commenter.
The page Michele Evermore referenced was showing an abuse tactic where the abuser gets the abused to defend themselves and then plays the victim card. The pronouns are all male for the abuser and female for the abused. The problem I have with this is this tactic is used far more often by the fairer sex against men. Mind games and mental abuse are firmly in the female sphere. Yes, Michele Evermore has found three guys in a row who do this behavior. No, it's not common for men to be this way, it's more common for men to use physical abuse.
To understand why the page Michele Evermore found bothers me; take this phrase (not from what she referenced), "The never ending argument. A topic that angers both sides and various levels of discussion occur until an agreement is reached. To the average male, this settles things. To the average female, this signals that she is tired of fighting for now and is taking a break." Inserting gender pronouns creates an inflammatory posture that is not necessary to describe the abuse and excludes people of the offending sex from gaining solace from the advice. Saying it this way, "To one side, this settles things. To the other, this signals that they are tired of fighting for now and are taking a break." allows you to describe the behavior without assigning blame to an entire sex. If you have no problem assigning blame to an entire sex, you are a bigot.
And as a straight, white male, I am sick of the bigotry from just about every single victim class on the planet. I am white, so I am responsible for racism. I am straight so I am responsible for homophobia. I am male so I am responsible for sexism.
I am not a racist, homophobe or sexist. I refuse to accept the blame for the actions of others.
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