On father's day Larry exhorted us to call our estranged fathers and say, "I love you, Dad," and hang up.
Thus, if you never spoke to them again, that would be your last words to them.
I commented that my last words to my father were, "burn in Hell!"
I am sorry for that, Larry, I should not have made such a comment on your post.
I should have kept it here.
There are things I got from my dad which are genuine good. He introduced me to libertarianism even if it took FuzzyGeff to explain what that introduction meant. He showed me the evils of unions. He taught me how to wrench and that has saved me countless thousands of dollars.
There's a lot I learned about being a man that I got from seeing how he did things and then going 180˚ off that. He led by example, but not an example that should be emulated. I do not share his opinion on race, gender, sex, sexual orientation, marriage, the value of televised professional sports or family.
It was his treatment of women that made me utter those fateful words.
First my mother, then my sister, then his wife and finally MY wife. Telling him to go to Hell is probably the most I can do legally. I am content that those are my last words to him. I would regret it more if I'd left it without telling off. I don't want him to think, ever, that he is forgiven without earning that forgiveness to the same measure as he's earned the contempt.
His sins against me pale by comparison to those done to my older little brother, his wife and their children.
So, Burn in Hell, Dad!
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I'm sorry it's that way between you two, I lost my father in 86, at the same age I am now 48. We had our ups and downs, but overall we got along. He taught me a lot of the same things yours did, and like yours, he treated women badly some of the time. I am the complete opposite of him on that, but remember, our dads were raised completely different than us, that's why we are the way we are. I dearly miss him, but know he wasn't perfect. His world view was completely different than mine, and that's from the way he was raised. I hope one day you two are ok with each other, but your gonna do what your gonna do, good luck. Remember, once their gone their gone........
ReplyDeleteThe ball is in his court and he's not interested in returning it.
ReplyDeleteThe conversation that led to "burn in hell" started with an attempt to explain to him why his behavior was wrong and how it would not be tolerated around me any longer.
He x*10^1000'd down. I think I did everything expected of me before I pulled the ejection handle, and I am prepared to justify my actions to a board of enquiry.
Now he has two kids that don't talk to him at all (Me and the older little brother) and one who barely does (sister) and one who is going to be him someday (younger little brother).
As for "once they're gone, they're gone"...
DeleteIt's OK to part and left something unsaid, just be certain you can leave it unsaid forever.
There are things I wanted to say to my Uncle I never got to say. That burns. Because of that I said everything I needed to say to my mom, and there's still a gaping hole where she was. I feel so utterly comfortable with where I've left it with Dad there will be no sense of loss when he finally goes.
Well you said you piece, my mom is in the hospital as we speak, so maybe that has my mind going, but if he wants to keep living the way he's living, there is nothing you can say or do to change him.......;-)
ReplyDeleteFingers crossed for your mom!
ReplyDelete