But Not YOU Peasant (Updated)

UPDATE: THIS WAS A SATIRE POST AND I FELL FOR IT HOOK, LINE AND SINKER. 

Found this on Facebook:

What is it they keep telling us?  If we have nothing to hide, we have nothing to worry about? 

ST. PETERSBURG — A leak involving the city's automated license plate reader network has allegedly exposed an extramarital affair between two high-ranking St. Pete officials after records documenting months of late-night travel were obtained by TMZ.

According to the leaked data, one official's vehicle made at least 17 late-night visits to the home of the other, frequently arriving after 11 p.m. and departing before sunrise.

Neither official has been publicly identified yet.

City officials responded to the apparent breach by ordering an emergency review of the Flock system and the privacy risks associated with storing vehicle-location data.

The review reportedly concluded that additional protections are needed for elected officials, senior administrators and other designated personnel. Under the proposed safeguards, registered vehicles belonging to qualifying officials would be automatically excluded from the system, with detections neither logged nor stored.

"No public servant should have to wonder whether their movements are being recorded, stored or potentially accessed by people they don't know," a city spokesperson said. "Elected leaders deserve a reasonable expectation of privacy as they go about their daily lives."

Officials stressed that the proposal would not affect the collection of data belonging to ordinary residents.

Local development advocate Graham Whitmore praised the distinction.

"There's an enormous difference between tracking ordinary citizens and tracking the people responsible for tracking ordinary citizens," Whitmore explained. "One is an important public-safety tool. The other is an alarming invasion of privacy."

Whitmore also rejected criticism that the policy would create a two-tiered privacy system, noting that officials are exploring a program that would allow residents to apply for similar protections starting at $420 per month, following a $69 application fee and background check.

"Nobody is being denied privacy," Whitmore said. "We're simply asking people who value it to help pay for it."

Officials declined to identify the individuals involved in the alleged affair, citing their ongoing commitment to personal privacy.

$420 a month to get the tier one privacy?

I have one.  Every single public official's address, all their phone numbers, all their email addresses and all their license plates published in a searchable database.

Why them?

Because they, literally, fight tooth and nail to get and keep the jobs they are elected for.

You wanna be in public and wield that kind of power?

Fuck your privacy.

Don't like being exposed like the unwashed?

I'm sure you have a degree to fall back on, or some work experience you can put on your resume, and get a job in the PRIVATE sector.

You suck on the Gubmint Tit, you let us know where you are at all times.

Fuck all y'all.

PS: Please enjoy the budget haircut coming with Amendment 3 you tax fattened hyenas!