Posts
That's sure a big statement, huh?
I'm a jerk, you've met me, you know it to be true. Why do you keep putting up with it? Stop putting up with it, and me.
I think it would be far better to be vaguely remembered with some good memories here and there than to have another situation like what happened with Dave. He probably doesn't hate me, but it can't be too far from it. If I had done this sooner, I would not have pissed Dave off and he might think, "I wonder what ever became of..." rather than, "What an asshole, I hope I never see him again!" Dammit, he's right, I am an asshole. I don't think it's a character flaw, but something deeper that I cannot change. Self loathing reflected on everything I see? I don't know. I do know that I am bad for everyone around me, run while you still can!
I'm not calling you guys anymore so I don't make you angry and taint what fond remembrances you do have. I also recommend that you stop reading here. My insane ranting will continue unabated, and it is insanity. You don't read Mein Kampf, do you? Why read this shit?
Resulting comments below the fold.
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Hey, I agree with you, but keep the cold out of the house. We love ya here baby.
Chesterharvey | |
11th-May-2008 08:46 pm (local)
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i can honestly say you have always treated me with respect. thank you- russmans wife
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13th-May-2008 02:04 pm (local)
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I have several responses to this post. They're going to come out in a jumbled order, I'm just sure.
I remember you admonishing me on numerous occasions that whining and complaining about my problems wasn't solving them, and that it certainly wasn't winning me any respect. At least once you put me to a life-or-death decision, and forced me to take ownership of my situation, rather than simply complaining about it. I mention this here for two reasons. First, it's not the sort of advice that wins you a lot of friends, it's not the sort of thing people want to hear. But it did help to shape my life, it was true and accurate. The sort of people who (eventually) recognize and value this trait of yours are the sort of people who will tend to stick by you, despite your occasionally being a jerk. How about you let *us* decide whether we're "better off without you in our lives." We're adults, we can weigh risk and reward, value and cost. If we continue to offer you friendship, what makes you want to push us away? Second, I want to point out that you could perhaps use a dose of that same advice. If you believe that your behavior is alienating your friends, you can take ownership of that and consciously work to modify your behavior. Hiding away in the dark and cutting contact with people who care about you is just running away from the problem. Not to mention it doesn't sound healthy. Especially if you're making a sacrifice (giving up your friends) to protect us (your friends) from you. As though we don't have the ability or insight to protect ourselves. You should respect me more than that. Honestly, I mean. . . Sometimes you're a dick. But if you remove my freedom to chose you as a friend "for my own good" . . . well, I know you have better reasoning skills than that. You use the words "Self loathing reflected in everything I see" right next to "I'm bad for everyone around me, run while you still can". I know you've had at least introductory Psych courses. For 10 points, identify the condition consistent with those statements and an apparent desire to sever communication with essentially everyone. Now, if you'll look under the "Treatment" section, I'm sure you'll find a statement like "All of the affected person's friends and acquaintances should immediately sever all ties to the affected individual for their own good." . . . No, wait. It doesn't say anything like that. Because it's ridiculous. We're your friends because we, in some way or another, find or have found value from that relationship. Value substantial enough, apparently, to outweigh the costs. So pushing us away, especially when you're pretty obviously in need, and claiming it's for our own good, is obviously not the plea of a rational mind. I intend to disregard it. Tim | |
15th-May-2008 10:10 am (local)
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Hmmm... Strong words... For such an educated (and opinionated) person who tends to do a rather well job of identifying things in others, you do seem to have difficulty applying that insight to yourself.
I understand the human need to acceptance from one's peers, but if one peer out of many finds such fault as to break ties, that suddenly means that all other peers see you the same way? This is not an A = B, B = C, therefore A = C situation. Sure, having a longtime friend suddenly react this way to you can be painful and like most men, the caveman will show himself and the desire to retreat to your cave is strong, but come on, dude. Like the previous comments have mentioned, if it bothers you that much, reflect upon it, apply your talent at insight to yourself, but move on and let those that want to continue their friendships with you, continue them. Don't let any one person other than yourself have so much influence in your life. | |
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