Me: I'm going to buy Steve a new house!
Dave: Wow, that's sure nice of you!
Me: Here's the bill.
Dave: Why do I have to pay for it?
Steve: Woo HOOOOOO, NEW HOUSE! Now I need a car because my house has a garage!
Dave: I'm not paying for this.
Me: If you don't pay I'll lock you in prison.
Dave: You can't do this!
Me: I have guys with guns.
Dave: Who do I make the check to?