Play it where it lies.

When I have problems, they seem pretty damn big and the solutions don't seem obvious.

I have received the advice, "Just bail and start over," more than once.

That was how I dealt with difficult problems for years.  I did not, and do not, like that person I was.

Shit gets hard, quit, run.

For two reasons I will not do that again.  First, I don't think I have another do-over left in me.  It's a lot of work and energy to sever old ties and build new ones.  It's soul crushing to have to re-accumulate all the things you had to give up from the previous failure.  Second, I vowed that I would stop running.

That vow is coupled with a decision that my word would start meaning something after literally decades of lying and cheating.  Please note, if you have known me for decades, you weren't lied to or cheated.  There aren't many of you.  Sorry.

So, play it where it lies.  It's a golf term.  I don't play golf; but it means that wherever the ball lands from the previous stroke is where you have to play from the next.

I have to figure out how to get out of my problems by traveling from point A to B to C to D in order.

Skipping points is how I ruined things before.  No more.

Just remember, I am playing "golf" here.  Saying that I should quit and go play basketball is not constructive because I am determined to play a full round of 18 holes; no matter how many strokes it takes.  No mulligans.  No skipping holes.

I cannot believe I am reduced to using sports metaphors.