23 April 2013

I Am A Bad Person

When you almost ram into me charging out of the check out lane and don't say excuse me...

When you stand in doorway of the store, blocking the exit...

When you careen around the parking lot going just fast enough to stay in front of my limping...

When you smash into my cart when I'm trying to get around you...

You are going to be called a bitch.

You were being rude on purpose, I saw your face, you don't get to be indignant that someone called you on it.

You might want to find a new repertoire of insults.  I have to have a modicum of respect for the person slinging them to be insulted by them.

Especially insults to my manliness.

That particular bit of esteem is unassailable.  I know the exact dimensions of my manhood, both physical and emotional and discovered that I am comfortable with them.

My penis is small?  Why would that matter to you?  After being such a bitch you're not going to get any use from it.

No woman would want me?  Want my wife's number?  She hates rude harridans too.

Harridan?  Look it up.

Lady, the world smells better if you take your head out of your ass.

All this is transpiring while I am loading my groceries in my trunk.  I finished while she was still screaming at me and drove away giving her a very wide berth.

She followed me part of the way home flipping me off.

She irritated me for a few minutes, I appear to have ruined her entire day.

Civility is reserved for when both parties are participating.

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