Really? You're serious?

Part of paying my debt to society for my failure to yield to a pedestrian ticket was an optional 4 hour traffic safety class.

I took it online.  It had a lot more to do with speeding and drinking than the fine points of FS 316.130(7)(c).

Once you complete this course, you print out the certificate and take it in to the county clerk of the court.

In Florida, that means disarming in the parking lot and going through the metal detectors.

So I left the 1911 at home and put the P238 in the glove box when I got there.  I also left my two pocket knives in the cup holder.

Into the building!

They have metal detectors set up to make sure people don't bring in dangerous items.  Just like an airport.  I always have to suppress an urge to cry, "Nobody move!  I am taking this court house to Cuba!"

So I toss my everything in my pockets plus my belt and phone into the bin.

Where-upon the deputy running the x-ray says, "This is a P38."

Yup.

"Where are you going?"

To give this piece of paper to the clerk.

"You don't have court?"

Nope, just going to the traffic window.

"You shouldn't have this here."

Huh?

His partner grabs my tub of stuff and waves me through since my playing stupid was holding up the line.

This; is what was the problem was.

You're serious?  A teeny can opener?  I thought you deputies had guns.

Hell, whipping my belt around like a flail would do more damage faster than this thing, but you didn't even worry about the belt, did you?

This is just the capper of a ludicrous adventure in law enforcement.

The ticket is from the New Port Richey police putting a crosswalk in the middle of a block.  The day I went through there they had it staked out and were three cops writing tickets for the same thing.  It was a crosswalk trap.  The law is wonderfully vague about when you have to stop for a crosswalk that isn't at an intersection.  The law does state that it's illegal for a pedestrian to step out in front of a car that cannot reasonable stop in time.

The cop said that I'd "almost hit him".  Officer, he almost dived on the hood.  He was standing there and ran for the street when I approached the line.

If I "almost hit him" doesn't that mean he was in the wrong and not me?  Well, the fine for the ped is $15.  The fine for me is $164.  Revenue enhancement.

I would not be surprised to hear that the city had hired people to walk back and forth across that crosswalk to generate more tickets.  New Port Richey has a reputation for this sort of thing.

The problem is hiring a lawyer to fight it is almost double the cost of the ticket.  I talked to three lawyers about my case and none of them gave me the impression they'd be winning the case.