I love The Boy to death, but...
He's gotten it into his head that if Mom's still home when he gets out of the shower then Mom will be staying around until his bus gets here. That would make mom about an hour and a half late for work.
He's also gotten it into his head that slinging abuse at me will somehow make Mom stay.
It doesn't work that way; but I've yet to find a way to convince him.
Until about a month ago, it wasn't a real problem because Mom was long gone before he needed to be up. Gods forbid the school leave a system that was working in place! They moved his bus up an hour officially (in practice it has been 30 minutes earlier).
To be ready to go at 0700, he really doesn't need to be out of bed until 0640. His bus is never here before 0715 and is normally closer to 0730.
He does not need to be up a 0600 when The Lovely Harvey starts to get ready. In fact, his being up at 0600 means she's going to take longer to get ready because he's pretty damn selfish and needy. For some reason I'm not allowed to direct him during this time.
Ideally if he wakes up at six he can take his meds, go potty then goof off in his room until Mom's ready and out the door. Her, "I love you; bye!" should be his go signal and he's got plenty of time to get ready from that point on.
I just need help enforcing that edict.
My feelings can't take a whole lot more of the verbal abuse and being spit at by The Boy.
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God bless ya, my woman's kid used to spit at me all the time, I try not to think about that, but she grew out of it. I got nothing for you, we couldn't control her, it just stopped one day. All I can say is God bless, I know you'll be OK.........
ReplyDelete... I wouldn't have dared. It would have been a race to see who killed me first, my mother, or my stepfather.
ReplyDeleteI'm seeing this a lot these days. Stepfathers getting absolutely zero respect from offspring of previous husband/whatever. I don't pretend to have a solution, but I think the current state of affairs will end poorly.
You must be new... The Boy is special needs. He's pretty severely retarded, so spitting is par for the course, along with anger and impulse controls. He will be like this for the rest of my life since he'll doubtlessly outlive me. There is no ideal or even good end-game. We're aiming for "best" results.
DeleteOf course, if you see him now and compare him to how he was ten years ago you'd be amazed at what a gentleman he is. Progress has been made, in spite of the public school and gov't appointed professionals, I might add.
I am the only father he's ever known and I am legally his father now. In fact, because the biological father portion of the birth cert was blank when I adopted him the Judge invoked something I'd never heard of, but our lawyer said was common in such cases: I was retroactively added to the birth cert.