The "gay" thing.

I was once borderline homophobic.  Then I discovered that two very close friends were gay.  One went to his grave without telling me, I found out from his sister at the funeral.  The other was outed by his girlfriend (he's bi in case you can't figure it out).

I had to come to grips with the fact that my friends weren't evil.  I gather I took it pretty well compared to some.

I grew up in central Iowa, Ames in fact.  It's one of the liberal enclaves in an otherwise pretty conservative state.  Being OK with the gay people meant that I could also go to the bars that played the music I preferred (punk/ska/metal) because most places were Top 40 or C&W.

Very seldom was I hit on even when I was the straight guy in the gay bar.  Only once or twice was I hit on and my "suitor" didn't accept the "sorry, I'm straight, just here for the music".  I can't say I've seen girls be able to get rid of unwelcome attention as easily when I've been to "normal" bars.

A disconnect between me and a decent sized chunk of my gay friends has been the gun thing.  That interfered with and ended more than one friendship.  Somehow they couldn't internalize the lesson that the straight gun owner had not even once threatened to shoot them for being gay.

More recently I am discovering, mainly through my wife, that a sizable chunk of gay men are pretty damned conservative.  I've even taught a few to shoot.

Talking to them I gather they are just as frustrated as I am about the political party's division of issues.  I still wonder why being gay and owning a gun are on opposite sides of the political fence; or that they need to be on one side only.