I keep hearing about how "back home" was so much better than here in Florida.
We get this from people from New York and New Jersey a lot too.
Then why did you move here, fuckstick?
Gotta be some reason. A compelling reason to move from Canada all the way down here.
Are you even a citizen, Mr Soni? Because I really love to hear from foreigners who've moved here but can't be bothered to join the tribe.
If you have bothered to naturalize, then you might have noticed that the US is like a whole different country.
But hey, don't like Florida? There's 56 49 other states you can move your ass to, bound to be at least one that has the gun laws you're so nostalgic for.
That is I-95. Point your stupid car north and don't stop till you get to your frozen home."
ReplyDeleteA Pakistani was the best worker at the hardware store - always on time, polite, knowledgeable - and every year he went to the boss and begged to be made an American.
ReplyDeleteEvery year the boss said, "Come back next year, maybe then."
Eventually, tired of this, the boss said, "Raise your right hand, repeat after me... ". You all know the rest.
Next day, the worker is 45 minutes late. In fact every day for the next fortnight he is late.
The boss takes him aside. "For twenty years you were on time every day, now you are late all the time. What's up?"
The worker replies, "For twenty years I came to work on public transport, no problem, but now that I am an American, I can't get on the bus. It's full of damn Pakistanis!"