03 September 2013


My hearing problem has a name!  It has been diagnosed as a lack of working memory (called sense-memory in the classes I took) where memories were being flagged as important enough to be retained as short-term memory and thus weren't something I could let fade into the background.  As if everything was flagged, "important, read now!"

But treatments for that don't work.

I've been treated for ADHD, and the treatments were ineffective.

I recently stumbled across what it most likely is; I have misophonia.  Joy of joys, no cure-no treatment.

I remember when some sounds first started bothering me too.

Like many stay at home mothers, my mom made some extra cash babysitting.

Those kids raised with different table manners would smack their lips.  It drove me nuts and I couldn't explain why.  I was probably in 2nd or 3rd grade.

The problem advanced as I got older.  First chewing, then breathing, then tapping then movements.

Couple this with hearing damage where the whole world seems muted but the frequencies where most of the irritating sounds seem to be.  I can hear bass VERY well.  Subwoofers are a joy (Gods but English needs a sarcasm font!).

I wear earplugs all the time.

I have a fan running all the time and not that stupid expensive silent Dyson shit neither, the cheapest noisy POS from the hardware store because it makes noise.

I read that tinnitus and misophonia are bedmates.  I've got tinnitus too.  My dad was crew chief for an amateur fuel/altered team when I was a wee little one, I was driver of his team's something-stock car, I was in the Army before they realized that tanks caused lots of hearing damage and I am a heavy metal fan.

I learned late that my hearing is precious.  I do want to keep what I have left, but the misophonia makes me not want to hear so much of what I can hear.

My most fervent wish while synesthesia like cross wiring to the fight-flight response has me in its grips that the person annoying me will be annoyed by something that drives them as insane as what they're doing to me does.

People who don't realize that what they're doing can be annoying never seem to grow any empathy until they're hurting as much as the victim.

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