08 February 2016

White Male: Blonde Hair: 160 Pounds

When you're a gamer in and around Ames, Iowa you keep late hours.

When your girlfriend moves to West Des Moines, you move with her.

This leads to transiting Urbandale and West Des Moines late late late at... no early on Sunday morning.

If you look like me in your silver 1979 Camaro, you also look like a repeat offender wife beater, drunk driver and drug dealer in his silver 1978 Camaro.  Yes, I looked like a scumbag.

Guess how many weeks in a row I got pulled over?

My doppelganger had no license... and warrants out.

My heart really goes out to the West Des Moines Police Department's officers because the "I've finally got him!" look fading when they can see I'm not the other guy is so sad.

Astonishingly for such a small department, it took 22 stops and a written complaint AND pulling up to a parked officer to give a helpful vehicle ID class on how to tell my car apart from scumbag.  That friendly interaction led the "how do you know that?" question.

I know that because I was always looking for parts cars and there's an almost identical Camaro parked on <this street and block> a few blocks into Des Moines proper.

I think that led to Scumbag's arrest.

I am not at all bitter about this experience, when I tell it in person it's told to get a laugh.

I fit the description and wasn't really detained all that long.  Of course a laugh and a "officer, I am sure you've heard this before... But you got the wrong guy!" helped a lot in keeping from being an asshat festival.


  1. OK, that was funny. Next time print a meme of Obi Wan saying "I am not the scumbag you are looking for" and tape it to your read windshield :D

    1. If it wasn't 20 years and 100 pounds ago... And I still had hair...


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