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In pursuit of gaming stuff I do some odd searches.
Got a suggestion for "slowest way to kill yourself".
Turns out, just doing what you're doing right now is, in fact, the slowest way of killing yourself.
Death by time gets everyone.
Now I'm prolly going to get red flagged for being suicidal.
Officer, "He had a clock right there like was going to use it. He also had a calendar app open on his phone, I think we know what his intentions were."
Now, try to sound sane explaining this idea to a psychologist.
Honorable Mention:
ReplyDeleteI used to work in the Prudential Western Home Office (it's now SAG HQ), on Wilshire Blvd.
Right across the street from the La Brea Tar Pits.
One morning as we arrived for work, there were fire engines everywhere.
Seems some bright young nitwit, despondent with life, had decided to end it all by climbing over the fence, and jumping into the tar pits.
Until he found out how long it would take.
After a couple of hours, he was barely in up to his calves, and not going any faster.
So he began to call for help.
Eventually, someone passing by heard him, called 9-1-1, and the LAFD came out.
And found him, now repentant at his method of attempted suicide, because it would take days for him to sink even hip deep, and he'd die of thirst long before he was swallowed in tar and preserved for the ages.
So they figured out a way to get a boom hoist over to "Brontosaurus Bruce", as he became known, and work on tugging him out of the tar, and dragging him back to solid ground.
It took some time, and eventually cost him pants, socks, and shoes, IIRC, but they eventually yanked him out of the pit. And promptly strapped his tar-covered torso down for a trip to the looney bin for a psych eval for attempted suicide.
Saddest, stupidest, funniest suicide failure I've ever heard of.
If posing and cogitating on philosophical questions is now considered insanity, you are in very good company indeed. Hume, Socrates and Aquinas would concur. Indeed, the slowest way to "kill yourself" is to live every day to the fullest and take some measure of care of your body. Time (as established by God) is the final arbiter.
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