08 March 2021

Ugh Ick

There was once a time when Kraft Real Mayonnaise was the gold standard for bog-standard mayo.

Duke's and Hellman's were nearly identical and made up the big three of mayo that tasted like mayo.

Note: Miracle Whip is not and has never been mayonnaise.  It is a sugar sweetened atrocity which exists to identify those who have no soul.

Well... That was then, this is now.

Kraft went water based on both their mayo and Miracle Whip.  The consistency and mouth feel are bad enough, but the mayo has come to more resemble the despicable salad dressing than savory mayonnaise.

In the first place, why would you add sweetener to it?  Never mind high-fructose corn syrup.

Hellman's has joined Kraft with the HFCS.

Dukes is still made correctly.  The lone hold-out.

The good thing is that mayo isn't really that hard to make, should it come to that.


  1. I hadn't noticed that Kraft and Hellman's had ruined their product because I rarely ever buy them. I usually buy a house brand that still is made the right way.

  2. In our locale, Dukes is about 30 cents more expensive then the Helleman's or Kraft but well worth the cost. I didn't know the formula change, but Duke's has long been a favorite in our household.

    This post reminds me of the canned 'spreadables' sold in the 1970's. Ready made to be spread on bread, similar to a round can. Mom and Dad liked it, me notsomuch.


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  4. Miraclewhip, you either love it or hate it. There is no middle ground. I am one of those that firmly believes "A sandwich just isn't a sandwich without the great taste of Miraclewhip!

    Am I banished now? LOL

    1. If you can find a way to look at yourself in the mirror...

      Admitting you like Satan's Spunk on something you eat, in a public forum... there's nothing I can shame you with. ;)

      You are absolutely correct. There is no middle ground about Miracle Whip.

      Knowing that divide exists, I am baffled that people still refer to "salad dressing" as mayonnaise. They only look similar.

      That aside, are you content with the changes to the texture and mouth-feel made after they went water based? It reminds me of a thin and wispy whipped cream. Plus recipes that use it don't stand up well without the oil.

  5. I hadn't noticed but the only uses I have for mayonnaise are binder for tuna salad and base stock for 1000 island dressing. I've never had any truck with that Miracle Whip stuff.

  6. Y'awl funnih!
    Growing up mil brats, lotsa time in foreign countries, Dad tossed a salad, and sprinkled vinegar and oil(??) on it and called that salad dressing. We did have access sometimes to a US commissary, but there was never 48 different types of ranch, thousand island, roquefort, etc. We ate what we could get...and didn't read labels much...

    1. Look on the label for Miracle Whip sometime. It says "Salad Dressing" right on it.


    2. Great grandma McThag used it to make some sort of apple salad with marshmallows, nuts and grapes. It's every bit as good as it sounds. Which ties straight into the polarizing nature of the gunk.

    3. That's Waldorf Salad, or a variation of. Tastes much better with real Mayo and a splash of vinegar. And raisins instead of grapes (there is a flavor difference, Mom used racist (white) grapes.

      Got it's start in the days when salads first came along, and food storage for fresh vegetables didn't really exist. Thus, carrots, nuts and grapes or raisins.

  7. We’ve been making our own mayonnaise for a couple of years now. Yeah it takes an hour once a week or two at most, but it’s better. Nobody sneaks crap into it to save a few cents.


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