19 November 2023

It's A Problem

I've been observing things and noticing that most calls of sexism, racism and homophobia stem from how the "wronged" person takes the remark than how the remark was intended.

I am coming to believe this is deliberate because you cannot account for how a message is received regardless of your intent when delivering it.

When the recipient gets to decide if it's offensive, anything can be.

"I'm sorry, I did not mean it that way," should be a positive defense when someone has unintentionally offended.  It should be noted that it was a legitimate defense during a time when you could be challenged to a duel for your slights!

Those dueling societies also made note of people who took offense at the slightest and provoked duels by refusing the apology.  They often found themselves shunned and not able to be out in polite society.

5 comments:

  1. Or it "self resolved" when provoking folks best not provoked... But as that no longer happens, the problem of the offended getting to determine who is "correct" persists...

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  2. In certain segments of our society if you look at things a certain way, dueling is still around. Among the cartels ans street gangs, even among one's own group, not just between rival groups, there are often slights which result in violence often up to or including use of pistols. And these groups are generally shunned by anyone not "in the game".

    One of the really crazy things is the frequent allegations of "microagressions" in which generally extremely small and unintentional things are overblown to be massive displays of discrimination. The wronged feel very butt hurt and usually the supposed offenders have nary the clue that they're inadvertently pushing buttons. In fact I'd guess usually if the knew (or once the find out) they would actively try to avoid it.
    -swj

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  3. Dueling is still a thing. We've just moved from one-on-one physical confrontations to dueling regulation and lawyers.

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  4. This is a technique of passive-aggressive bullying very familiar to people who have younger siblilngs. "MOMMM! Buddy/Sissy's PICKING ON ME!" It puts me in mind of the Chairman Mao/Cultural Revolution period in China, when you had to keep up with every twist and turn of the Party Line...and God/Marx/Mao help you if you made a mistake!

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