25 February 2018

Blackjack!

No rights until you're 21!

Just like gun laws don't affect a celebrity with an armed security detail, I'm staring 50 in the teeth so this won't affect me!

No free speech until you're 21.  That's gonna kill Youtube, and Twitter; but it's going to be so damn peaceful afterwards.

I think guns have been covered adequately.

Open up the door, you're a barracks now!  This is going to save the DoD some coin.  Don't forget you have to feed them while they're there.

Leave the door open, the cops need to be able to check out where you live whenever they want.  Warrant?  Warrants are for adults!

Speaking of the cops, better not get arrested because you can now be forced to testify against yourself.  Were you acquitted?  Well, we'll just try again until you're convicted!  And don't get attached to your stuff, when we want some of it we'll send a agent to come get it.  Compensate you?  Do you think you're an adult now?

That trial we keep sending you to, over and over?  You're guilty because we say.  You want a lawyer?  Nah.  Sucks to be you, shouldn't have been young and guilty when you came in here for the seventh time for the same crime.  Extra penalties for wasting the court's time by convincing the jury you were innocent those other six times.

Did I say jury?  Yeah, that's another grown-up thing.  Well, we're not making that mistake again; off you go.

Those extra penalties are going to be kicking in now.  Your cell will be ankle deep in freezing water and no furniture will be provided.  One weeks food to be supplied each monday and it must last you all week.  It's also water soluble and wrapped in tissue for officer safety.

You don't have any rights, so it doesn't matter how many there might be.

You don't have any power either.

Won't it be great when you turn 21?  If you make it, that is.

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