30 December 2021

Paying For It

All this physical activity carries a toll.

About 9am my right shin hurt as bad as when I broke it.

So I decided to just curl into a ball and hope it stopped hurting.

The pain has subsided into "just" feeling like my lower leg is on fire and now I can function somewhat.

Because this is a form of nueropathy, there's blessed little I can do to alleviate it.

Narcs work great to stop the pain.  But I don't like the way I feel otherwise and since I like driving, shooting and playing with heavy machinery; I don't like resorting to asking for them.

Nevermind that the war on some drugs has made getting the two pills a year I actually would need nearly impossible.

Drugs like Gabapentin kill the pain too.  Like narcs, the side effects are untenable.

On the starter dose of Gabapentin I was doing the suicidal ideation thing but hard.  Did I mention I have cars, guns and heavy machinery?  Yeah, those are excellent means to complete the circuit on suicidal ideation.  I do not feel better knowing that the odds of someone getting this side effect is on the order of winning a $1,000 scratch-off.

So  basically, I endure the pain knowing that will, probably, stop on its own; because it always has before.


  1. I too, am diabetic and have neuropathy in both my legs up to my knees and at times my hands. I have used and still have my scrip for gabapentin but for the last year my pain has subsided enough I don't use it. I never developed any suicidal idealization so I consider myself lucky. I tolerated it well. Being a retired nurse I do know what side effects that manifest and how much the bark is worse then the bite. Another drug that have should have been investigated much further then it was and slowed the (FDA) approval. Big money is why it was allowed. It always comes down to money, money money money...

    1. I'm not a diabetic. My nueropathy is from shattering my tibia and fibia on both legs jumping off the turret of an M1A1 into a ditch, rather than from the turret to the back deck.

    2. I thought you were, sorry. Yes, trauma can trigger neuropathy. Damn, that must have hurt...

  2. Yeh, I was prescribed Gaba for CRPS and got that too (as well as blood-pressure spike that nearly blew the top of my cranium off).

    Amazing isn't it how the million-to-one side-effect seems to occur for every other person?

    I've 'trialled' on so many drugs and therapies (CRPS is weird, what works for one doesn't work for anyone else) I feel like a beagle. I was on high dose opioids for a while, did jack and the other except for leaving me a zombie, so when I demanded being taken off them they (docs) documented me as a ... I kid you not, an 'addict' (since when has an addict fought tooth and nail to get off a drug they push? Sigh).

    If it's transitory (Oh how I wish mine was) I assume you've tried TENS? Being as how 'pain is my entire life' I've found some really weird (personal) correlations. So, at the risk of yet again teaching my parents mothers how to aspirate an ovum, have you charted when/where/how/diet/everything to see whether there's 'something' triggering/exacerbating? (air-pressure, was one of my weirds, leading to trying, unfortunately unsuccessfully, barometric therapy. Smoking, yeh I know, I gave up years ago but found it didn't reduce the pain, but let me 'cope' better - go figure. Tomatoes too?!? The more in my diet, the better I coped - if I didn't already know I was weird 'that' would have persuaded me).

  3. Would a Spinal Cord Stimulator work for you? Two different devices implanted over 12 years. Both about 95% effective.


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